I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
