He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize