I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
