i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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