I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
