Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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