What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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