He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
