I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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