From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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