How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
