dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I lost the right to judge tonight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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