I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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