I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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