i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
