So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
