I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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