Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
