i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
