I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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