I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize