Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
