Got a toothbrush?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
