peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
