i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
