I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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