Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
