hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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