Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
