I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
