i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
