Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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