I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
