you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
