How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
