i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
