I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Alive.
So much puke
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
