Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What did we do last night that was yellow?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
