Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
