you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
