I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
