Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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