A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
