But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize