Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
