Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
