Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it hurts more in the daytime
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think your dad took our porno
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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