I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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