Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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