TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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