I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
