yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
