just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
