Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
