no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
