no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
