Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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