Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
