There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
