Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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