I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
