i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
