That's intense
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
