I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
